How a fairy is born.....

talents....
fairies are born with talents, something that makes them special, something that makes them stand out from the crow. Tinkerbell was a fairy with a talent so strong, a talent that defined her.... why can't we all find our talents so easily? why must we keep continuously searching for something that makes us special?
anyways tonight is interesting...

hearts, li-ming

feeling like a crumb

crumb |krəm|noun1 a small fragment of bread, cake, or cracker.• a very small amount of something: the budget provided few crumbs of comfort.• the soft inner part of a loaf of bread.• a dessert topping made of brown sugar, butter, flour, and spices and crumbled over a pie or cake: [ as modifier ] : apple crumb pie.• (usu. crumb rubber )granulated rubber, made fromrecycled tires.
a crumb, to me, is a small insignificant piece of nothing. never in your life have you ever dropped a crumb and picked it back up, and saved it. A crumb is always eaten by scavenger animals, birds and mice. Crumbs are minute pieces that add up to a messy collection of rubbish, scooped together and thrown away.
sometimes its not life that gets too much but the people around you, its like sometimes you look at someone's life and then you realised how unaccomplished you are. you try to reason to yourself why they are so accomplish, but it never works, you are  the same as them just with nothing. you're the crumb while they are the cake. people oo and ahhh at their taste and appeal, while they just wipe you away. sometimes i wonder how awesome would it been if i could do things... if had a talent that could get me far, if i had the abilities to be more than just a student. to have more in life than just being a student, something that only i can possess, something that would amaze others. something to call my own, something i will not get judged at. sometimes its just the tick of approval, just a simple acknowledgement. Something where someone can stand there and be like i wish i could do that, or something that would obtain an "I'm  proud".
but that will never be me, i have nothing to be proud of, or for anyone else to be proud of, i do what i need to and thats all. i don't juggle between areas of my life, cause it's just categorised as one big life, a university student. i do what i have to, to get through. theres nothing else to it...

talking bout crumbs there's this good french macron place called la belle miette, meaning, the beautiful crumb...
if only i was a beautiful crumb, kept and savoured

hearts,  li-ming

meant to be written 2 days ago

this week has been a crazy one.. really intense with my last biochemistry practical report due, the final draft of my physiology, french test and anatomy test all in one tiny week that just finished within a few seconds. Now it's a saturday morning and I've decided that my life was worthy of a blog, filled with random ranting proportions. Although it all happened in the past, it's still worthy of ranting.

so we shall start with a picture that defines my study session on wednesday, preparing for the anatomy test, while still remembering my french oral.

yes it has been hot here but it only lasted two days, I'm not complaining that it's gone or that it was short, I'm just stating a fact that the weather is stupid. anyways as this intense crazy week progressed, i was placed under a lot of stress and craziness, which rendered me with a failing grade and caused me to end up in colouring eeyore when in the anatomy museum. but over all after two days of mundane happiness i am feeling a whole lot better.
but i think i observe too much, i think way too much for my brain to even comprehend. it even renders me with dreams of scary proportions. the other day i dreamt of two of my friends whispering and talking bout me behind my back, sometimes these things make me insanely crazy. rage is often the way i deal with issues like these, it was on tuesday where my friends indicated that i was deeply wounded, not just by the presence of friends but the fear of "intimacy" from some past encounter. i dunno i can't really think right now, a mushy brain isn't always the best way to blog, so ill attempt to blog again tomorrow .
ice skating tomorrow 8am wake up

hearts, li-ming

i have a new iphone case=]

last night and today was a real big eye opener for me, ive just noticed that despite the small quiet exterior of my science group of friends, deep within are big secrets and massive scandals. everyone has their part to play, whether you're the Blair Waldorf or the Jenny Humphrey, you may even be Dan, innocent yet devious. but don't forget there's always at least one gossip girl in the group. You never know until you dig deep, the stuff that is known is actually spreading, even your secrets are spreading. but you dont known until you reveal a little for you to truly discover something totally unexpected. Today was a real insider to what is beneath the perfect exterior. and im ashamed to say i am a part of this circling information and gossip. but it just makes you wonder who else knows about your secrets when you start to know about other peoples. theres no such thing as the cone of silence or the circle of truth its just small words whispered to one person which in turn gets stored in a centre base where all who find it will discover the secrets within. no matter about the rumours and gossip that goes round i don't care how i'm perceived as long as im happy. i just dont wanna be seen as that pathetic little wimp.
has anyone else noticed that halifies are pretty good looking? today i mentioned it, i dunno if i would want to be with a halfie or marry someone western so that my kids would be hot... such a hard decision, especially when you were bullied as a child for not looking a certain way.

Lately ive just started watching a new tv series which im probably gonna follow now called "new girl" i must say its really good i just love the whole aspect of it. and since watching it i have been constantly wishing i had guy friends like her. guy friends that really truly cared. but it was today that i realised, i really do have "guy" friends like her, ones that care about me so much and my well being they ask each other to watch out for me. i sometimes feel so special and so loved. Jaka is pretty cool although half way round the world he's still my bro watching everything i do, trying his hardest to make sure im me and im happy. Andy is lol there kinda like a netting.. lol sounds weird but kinda catches you when you fall? providing comfort and entertainment. he's like always there even when he's bummed to make me happy. i guess i dont appreciate him enough but hes really caring. VICKY although not a guy is one of my closest bros and she is just amazing. she gets me like no one else she understands my stupidity and she understands everything I do we talk not girly conversations but we are always on the same level. and shes doesnt just sit there and listen to me and my rage but she rages back and it just feels good to know that im not the only one out there feeling the way i do. shes not bias but shes fair and we can laugh endlessly. Ive discovered that these are my caring "guy" friends, equal to the ones from the tv series "new girl"

also i dunno lately ive been feeling a tad honest resulting in real mean abilites. i try my hardest to suppress them but its been to long. Resulting from this was an idea fit for a king, a music jam session, im actually really excited although i might be the only one playing, it would be so cool and fun just to sit there and jam and listen to those try and learn my viola. i cant wait for friday.
anyways i should be sleeping early lol so as it is 3:14am i shall say my farewells with a song

hearts, li-ming